Couples Work

Try & have courageous conversations where partners feel comfortable identifying their unique interests and concerns. Partners who do not share their hopes or fears have difficulty understanding the others’ actions or attitudes. We all have different aspects to us , these make up who we are- the parts of the Self.
Unless we help our partner to understand our feelings, resentment can build through lack of communication and encouragement of empathy.

Do not say “never” or “you always.” If or when an argument surfaces, the ‘accused’ partner hears only the accusation of blame or guilt and not the underlying reasons why the partner is upset. It is far more effective to tell your partner why a particular action is a problem rather than making an accusation. For instance, she probably did take the rubbish out in the past week or two. Hearing you never take out the garbage will most likely only produce defensiveness. Or is it about the rubbish at all? Read between the lines.

Take the time to listen to what your partner is REALLY saying. Too often, especially when there is tension, we tend to think we heard what the other said. Alternatively, we don’t listen at all, especially when we lose patience. Stable relationships take a lot of empathy, and that is achieved when we feel the other’s pain, concerns, or desires. It takes time and effort in your relationship to value each other’s perspectives.
Fairy tales are not real- Two individuals do not melt into one. They remain individuals always, but in a good healthy relationship learn to appreciate their views are not always shared and that with a little time and negotiation resolution can be found.


The Office

waiting time in between clients/patients feels better maybe due to the beach vibe going on around here……OTT? Not on my watch. Loving the improved look personally. The Working environment can make a positive difference to our day. Worth the investment if you can.

A touch of Danish Hygge at work I say( my landlord is Danish……).

Sunday Morning musings…….

pexels-photo-641038.jpegHaven’t been on top form lately. Not practising the self care I preach to clients.

Feeling older than my 57 years( 58 in May), knees creaking again due to the several extra pounds I’ve slipped on ( comfort stress eating), lack-lustre complexion( not vanity just a tell-tale sign for me that all is not well).

So, Sunday morning still in pjs at ridulous o’clock , even though  it’s chilly outside, the sun is shining, the birds are singing. The dog ( she who must be obeyed), is hinting that it might be a good time to venture out, but getting dressed seems like a real task.

I have lots of people to see this coming week. Probably too many if I’m honest. I notice my ability to say no diminishes as my resilience fades- it should be the other way around.

I will eventually tell myself to heave my heavy backside out of the bed ( I know how to kick me when I’m down), but that means the day begins and I’m not keen to start. When life closes in we lose the joy of it. I know full well that once I’m up and dressed for the cold & I step outside and move my body and breathe in the chill air & feel the sun on my face I will feel better. So why am I so reluctant today? Infact when I think of it most days lately.

Lits has been going on , the usual worries of life but some biggies lately gnawing away at my usual fairly good resilience. I have broad shoulders , I can often find solutions where others can’t. Today, and yesterday, and the few days before that, it’s not how I’m thinking. My mind has turned to sludge( obviously not completely as I’m writing this).

I think the best thing to do is to let it happen as it will. Accept this is how I feel. I recall feeling similar in the past and I fought it, and it clung on a bit. So today I’ll just accept it’s how I am and just do what I  Can for now. I’ll deal with tomorrow when it comes.

plan: early night, get up a bit earlier tomorrow to face the day and what it brings.