Haven’t been on top form lately. Not practising the self care I preach to clients.
Feeling older than my 57 years( 58 in May), knees creaking again due to the several extra pounds I’ve slipped on ( comfort stress eating), lack-lustre complexion( not vanity just a tell-tale sign for me that all is not well).
So, Sunday morning still in pjs at ridulous o’clock , even though it’s chilly outside, the sun is shining, the birds are singing. The dog ( she who must be obeyed), is hinting that it might be a good time to venture out, but getting dressed seems like a real task.
I have lots of people to see this coming week. Probably too many if I’m honest. I notice my ability to say no diminishes as my resilience fades- it should be the other way around.
I will eventually tell myself to heave my heavy backside out of the bed ( I know how to kick me when I’m down), but that means the day begins and I’m not keen to start. When life closes in we lose the joy of it. I know full well that once I’m up and dressed for the cold & I step outside and move my body and breathe in the chill air & feel the sun on my face I will feel better. So why am I so reluctant today? Infact when I think of it most days lately.
Lits has been going on , the usual worries of life but some biggies lately gnawing away at my usual fairly good resilience. I have broad shoulders , I can often find solutions where others can’t. Today, and yesterday, and the few days before that, it’s not how I’m thinking. My mind has turned to sludge( obviously not completely as I’m writing this).
I think the best thing to do is to let it happen as it will. Accept this is how I feel. I recall feeling similar in the past and I fought it, and it clung on a bit. So today I’ll just accept it’s how I am and just do what I Can for now. I’ll deal with tomorrow when it comes.
plan: early night, get up a bit earlier tomorrow to face the day and what it brings.